Horoscope May 2017

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
The gala is coming up and now is the ideal time to put yourself in the spotlight. Get that dress/suit from the non-discount section of H&M and rock it! You look better in it than that one girl/guy in the other Verbs tower anyway. You may have been having some trouble letting go of that cute group member, Taurus, but it’s getting in the way of your love life. Use your new dress and the weekly dinners to broaden your horizon and your hook-up list.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Whoa whoa! Slow down there buddy. I know exams are coming up, but there’s no reason to be at the library Every. Single. Day. Even the security guard kicking you out at midnight knows your name by now. Kick back, relax, and think about what you want to do after this semester. But don’t relax too much, Gemini! Fun can be found away from Netflix as well.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
A Scorpio full moon is leaving you hot and dry and you, my dear Cancer, are hungry for some love. Maybe it’s a good idea to show your semester-fling how you truly feel and serenade them at Band night? Or send them flowers, like a normal human being. Either way, it’s bound to get you laid.

Leo (July 23-August 22)
You tend to take on many different projects, Leo. But this month, try to keep focussed! If you buckle down and work hard, and you will be rewarded… Whether it is finally getting the much-desired attention from the hottest mentor or winning the Battle of the Groups, you’ll achieve your goals!

Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Mistakes are there to be made, but boy oh boy, do you make them often. And the same one, over and over and over again (it must be so tiring to be your thesis supervisor). And it may sound counterintuitive, Virgo, but the way to break this cycle, is to stop thinking. Maybe kill some brain cells while you’re at it. (Hint: Vodka is on sale this Tuesday.)

Libra (September 23-October 22)
You will feel quite overwhelmed this month by anxiety and you’ll feel the urge to go sit in your Verbs room and not come out until the end of the semester. But, dear Libra, don’t forget that it’s only a couple more weeks and you’ll be back on a plane. Besides, Uranus in Aries predicts an important encounter coming your way late this month. Don’t cancel too many activities, or you’ll miss it!

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
This month is about starting new collaborations. Not only professionally (have you been thinking about a new career as a mentor?) but also in the relationship sector of your chart. Be careful, Scorpio, those new collaborations also bring along new germs. Make sure you don’t fall ill right at the end of your exchange: take a nap, wear a sweater, eat an orange.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Lately, you have been an efficiency-machine, Sagittarius! You really buckled down and the papers you handed in, are probably top-shelf! Now, what to do with all that time you have left, now that you don’t have any re-sits? You have trouble deciding, but keeping your options open is not doing you any favours. Rushing from one party to the next while taking on 3 new hobbies will burn you up. Quality over quantity, and that rule also applies to your makeout partners.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
“You were always the wild one, so what happened?” you ask yourself as you drink your 3rd glass of cheap wine, while watching a rerun of Say Yes to the Dress by yourself. The stars are wondering the same thing! The world misses you, your flirtiness and craziness (but fun-crazy, not scary-crazy). Turn off that TV, take off that dressing robe, down your wine, get your ass off the couch and into a bar.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
This month, you have the urge to snuggle up at home. And taking it slow is never a bad idea. But. And there is a big but here. This month you don’t want to snuggle by yourself and you’ll take any offer, as long as it means company. Beware, Aquarius. Strays seem cute at first, but are you ready for the commitment of having a pet? Take someone cute home instead. People feed themselves.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)
You got off to a bad start this month, Pisces. Everyone seems to want a piece of you, and not in a good way. But maybe something good will come out of this. You’re broke which means you’ll have to get creative, and those verbs dinners were a source of inspiration. We might have a new Gordon Ramsey here! Or maybe you’ll have to start asking for things in return. I’m sure at least 10 people still owe you a round at the wheel.

Aries (March 21-April 19)
It’s time to get back to your routine, Aries! It may seem tedious at times to have the semi-mandatory hang-out session with your floormates, but your semester will be over before you know it and you should enjoy it while it lasts. Hug your mentor, spin the wheel one last time, and write on everyone’s shirt during the White T-Shirt Party.

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